Out in the open sky of Couture Wilderness, Mumbai Oct 7, 2010 Thu 7 : 30 PM
Commitment at times plays heavier than all else – time, health, family, profession – everything. Once initiated it has this unpleasant habit of sidelining all else and sitting ogre like on your conscience. Many wonder why such attention and detail to something quite as abstract as a mere word, could at times develop a physical form, one that is not actually present in its physicality but yet has presence. Its quite an individual opinion. One that has never been favored for general consideration. But consider it must be. It is an important aspect of ones life. At least mine for sure.
For me commitment has always been such an important feature that even at the cost of disturbing routine I would never break it. Well at least within emergent levels.
Many have on occasion expressed surprise and at times shown disdain towards it. But for me it has remained valuable and personal. And may it ever remain so.
So … even after the joy of putting the grandchildren into bed last night and seeing off Abhishek and Aishwarya on a 2:30 AM flight to Pusan, Korea, I felt it committed to get back to the blog even if it meant dozing off by 4 AM !
And then the shoot in far off Madh Island for 'Power' in the early hours barely gave me any time for rest. So who cares. Those whom I work for would not accommodate the fact that I slept late, or that there were pressing engagements. For them it's a schedule that must be adhered to and they are right in thinking so.
Luckily for me, all the scenes required me to be looking like I had not slept for days, which was convenient. Everyone on set thought how wonderfully into the character I was 'committing' myself. Little did they know !! See .. it works sometimes !!
And now … as I sit in another part of the city waiting to walk the ramp for Karan Johar and his creation for the couture week, having caught a few 'bumpy' winks en route, I am making sure that I do not waste any time and connect with the EF, because tonight will be late and tomorrow is an early call for the shoot for the KBC opening act.
Variety, my dearest ones, can and does become the spice for many of our lives !
The 'thump' 'thump' 'thump' of the music from the marquee, where rehearsals and other 'walks' are in activation makes the lap top bounce off the table almost. Soon we shall be there too, with all the nerves that even a simple walk can cause. I have moral support company though in Hrithik Roshan, who walks with me on the same ramp, and who has just tweeted his jitters as well. That makes two very jittery ramp walkers and two is a large number in these circumstances.
The birthday approaches as does the opening for KBC and I do not know which is more fearful. I would at the moment go with KBC, for, that requires public endorsement. An element that we have lived and grown up with in great abundance. Yet one that never seems to settle down as a given. Nothing is a given here, and hence the fear.
So often when faced with such circumstances we, shamefully, actually question why on earth we ever came into this profession. 'Aur bano actor !', we mumble, but inwardly we love the situation we are in. Better to be in than out !
And so day after day, year in and year out we pursue our desires and talents and creativities and wait in patient time for the verdict from those that we at times wish were not watching us. A dichotomy of the highest order. But such a desirable one as well …
Ok people time to get the paint on and face the music ..
If I get some more material, like pictures of tonight … they shall be on the site pronto !!
Till then prayers are deeply required ..
Love to you –
Oh ! and may I just add, on some rather disgusting behavior on the part of a member of the EF, or rather proclaimed EF, in wanting to destruct Valorie and her groups attempt in visiting India and meeting me on my birthday, by sending in anonymous calls to my office to say the trip is cancelled !
Well it most certainly has not and will not ever for any other members of the FmXt, try as hard as this member may.
You are all advised to keep off this lady. She is not welcome and never ever will be. This little medium that we have built up will never succumb to such elements that have behaved in the most shameful manner !--