Saturday, March 31, 2012
Jalsa , Mumbai Mar 30 , 2012 Fri 11 : 56 PM
So the doctor came along and has expressed deep shock at my sleeping hours ! They were around 4 am last night !! The shooting pain comes and goes and he feels it is the nerves that have been cut now trying to reassemble and get back into shape !!
Dear mr, miss m/s Nerves, could you, may be expedite your process of mending and not distress the skin of the body you occupy ? I know you inhabit a rugged terrain in and about and around you. Do not get influenced by their presence and letharge on what could be an extended period of time … there is need to get functional in the regions you operate and function. I do of course, along with the surgeons, lament the fact that you had to face some mutilation at the edges of a sharp knife and then face the 'invisible stitches' of repair. But it has been a while as you may know and the war zone like environment that you find yourself sharing space with, can and shall be able to bear but little of what you wish to express. Indeed you have been expressing yourself rather blatantly from the moment of the injury to your delicate senses, for some while now … what is it ? errmm … Feb 11, to now Mar 30 ! that is sufficient time to wipe your tears now and allow the region you so delicately occupy, to get back to normalcy ..
There are many friends and well wishers and Ef that suffer along with me .. their prayers go out each day for my well being. Now … I can only express my well being when yours is well too, do you not think … C'mon !! be a sport and listen in to what the others are saying .. its getting a bit embarrassing … okkaaaay !! Thanks and please then … BACK OFF !!
Now I doubt if a more fervent effort could have been made …
Rain has spoilt our chance of a win at the cricket tonight again in South Africa. I mean every time we get going, so do the rain Gods. That is most unfair. And … what of the commentary ??!!!! So biased, pro SAF even when they see our boys hitting the ball outta' the park … ?? Ok ! SAF Ef with due apologies … nothing personal here, its just a game – a white rotundity being hit about by another whitish blade of flattened wood and many colored costumes running about .. pardonnable I think .. a spirit of healthy gamesmanship do you not think .. Thank you, you are all so kind …
Stones acquired protect me … prayers brace me up … the kindness of the Ef soul envelops me gently and pushes me onto the bed ..
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Jalsa , Mumbai Mar 27 , 2012 Tue 11 : 54 PM
There is not much that one can say,
When life at peace is in the fray ..
We are but elements of some Grace,
Abetted, guided quite in our face …
It takes some measure of our stance,
To live and perhaps enhance ..
Gain we must and gain we should,
Of circumstances if we could ..
The timer on the clock does strike,
Indicative of what we never like ..
Going now and going soon,
Eyelids they shut but self immune ..
Be in cold space of crouching knees,
To dream and dream a bitter tease …
My hands in prayer …
Monday, March 26, 2012
Jalsa , Mumbai Mar 26 , 2012 Mon 11: 35 PM
The verse is from one of my Father's poems. It is from a phase in his life when he had been through grave tragedies and was just emerging from the darkness of its impression. It is addressed to the lady … the gender is feminine. It is a call to the opposite, but I felt that the words even though they convey attachment to the female, the woman, the beloved, worked quite well with my association with my Ef and hence its choice ..
In Roman English it reads as follows :
Kheenchti tum kaun aise badhanon se jo ki ruk sakta nahin mai -
Kaam aisa kaun jisko chodh mai sakta nahin hoon,
Kaun aisa, muh ki jissase modh mai sakta nahin hoon ?
Aaj rishta aur naata jodane ka arth kya hai ?
Shrankhala woh kaun jisko todh mai sakta nahin hoon ?
Chand, suraj bhi pakad mujhko nahin bithala sakenge,
Kya pralobhan de mujhe ve ek pal behla sakenge ?
Jabki mera vash nahin mujh par raha, kiska rahega ?
Kheenchti tum kaun aise bandhanon se jo ki ruk sakta nahin mai -
What are these bindings that you draw me towards you, that I am unable to stop myself -
What is that kind of work that I cannot leave ?
Which is that kind of face that I cannot draw myself away from ?
What is the meaning of that binding relationship, that association ?
What is the degree of binding that I cannot break ?
The Moon and the Sun shall be unable to catch me and put me down,
What is that temptation that they will give to keep me down ?
When the control over me is not with me, whose will it be ?
What are these bindings that you draw me towards you, that I am unable to stop myself -
But … these are my words when I think of the matter between my Ef and me ! What really are these bindings that draw me towards my extended family, that I am unable to stop myself … from connecting with you each day … err … mostly night !!
The face on the page, has a semi mischievous smile. It came from the set where I was shooting yesterday for the IPL promotional video. I am unable to fathom why I had that expression. Perhaps just a moment of fun with the unit, or ..
The green was put by the server creative unit as an extension to the background of the picture, which you may want to know was the green backdrop that we use in shootings for digital inputs. Shot against green assists the maker to put in any image behind on the green space of your liking. This way after say the image of the Taj Mahal was to be put, through a cut paste job, would eventually look as though I was there at the Taj and relatively and mischievously, enjoying the moment .. Or then perhaps the creative team behind the server felt it was symbolic of jealousy – the green eyed monster – to in a sense be in consonance with the words of the poem. They were unaware of the actual reason, which I have just explained ..
Phew !! I am tired just trying to explain the new face page !! Naaah , just kidding ! Tired of explaining would defeat the purpose of my writing the meaning keeping my Ef in mind, would it not ? And that would be a grave fallacy !!
There were some interesting visitors this evening. Siddharth Basu of BigSynergy who manages KBC came over with his wife to enquire after my health and of course that gave me an opportunity to discuss my next and immediate work schedule -KBC !! All seems in order I think and soon we shall start work on its promotions and concept and the schedule for its recording. Vishal and Shekhar and the mad 'bong', Sujoy Ghosh walked in next .. Sujoy back from Kolkata and his stunning success of 'Kahani', still the same, wired up individual. I introduced them to my Father, his works and did a small recitation for them … we should soon be working on some music for Sujoy .. that is if his exalted position now post 'Kahani' does not intefere ..
Jaya walked in too and there was some interesting Bengali banter between the Sujoy and the Bhaduri. She reminded me how after 'Jhankar Beats', Sujoy's first film and V@S's first too had impressed her much and that how she had predicted that this threesome would attain great heights. She has been mostly correct in her readings. As we saw Ranbir grow before us, she had said he will be a big star, when, I wonder he had ever thought of working ..
And so on …
The kids that had gone away are coming back tomorrow and that spells excitement !! The rehearsals for the IPL I shall start too within the confines of my room alone. Its so self conscious to be caught rehearsing in front of watchers !! Sachin Tendulkar has invited Abhishek and Aishwarya to a celebration for his tremendous achievement, so they are in the presence of Royalty right now. My loyalty though is with my royalty, for which I feel blessed .. and so here I am !!
Love to all …
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Jalsa , Mumbai Mar 25, 2012 Sun 5 : 48 PM
It is early ! Surprises never cease ! Neither does my eagerness to share this moment with the Ef … irrespective of time and place, circumstances, distances and destinations. If the cyber is not provided, it shall not be visited or patronized.
I sit up in my room, at my desk and hear the sounds of the well wishers gathering below. It is Sunday evening. The information shall come soon to greet them. The security and the police in attendance wish to clear the street. It obstructs other traffic, causes confusion. I do not wish for that, but to be there with those that come and wait for long is beyond the obstructions. If there is a specific time that they know of then to be there ahead would deprive some of meeting me. I must allow space for that.
The day started very early. Dubbing and recording for the IPL opening night extravaganza in Chennai on the 3rd of April. It is fitting that the event be held at Chennai … they won the IPL Championship last year. There are some distinguished names that shall lend support to the event – Salman and Kareena and Prabhu Deva and Shaimak Davar and his troup, along with the managerial and aesthetic skills of Wizcraft. My portion to have some music designed by Raju Singh. He was just beginning his wonderful journey as a composer in 1995, when we had asked him to lend his talent over a promotional for the Corporation of AB. Now many years later, he is an established force and doing so well. Always a very mild mannered and gentle individual. Happy to see that time and prominence have not destroyed that in him … We had worked together then in a small insignificant little space, with nothing that could be called electronic gadgetry, then. Now he has his own studio ! Mumbai the city of opportunity … if you have the strength to fight and survive, despite.
Its a joy to be behind the wheel. A fortnight ago I was struggling to be able to ease myself out of my Hospital bed, let alone walk. So I did away with the chauffeur .. they have all been working long hours, what with all the children here. Children … a few of them left this morning. Drove them to the airport. But … they shall return in a few days, which is so good to know … never let the laughter out of the house and the … yes … 'chahel pahel' ..
The first day at work today too. Out at Nagi Villa, just down the road, the residence of a generous Sikh family, that has been renting its premise out to shootings. Its a place that we have worked in for years, for the many films that we have done. The shoot is over quickly, the radio spots too announcing the IPL night with Red Fm and then back to home ground, before spending some time with the elder of the family at Nagi Villa. We discuss the metro rail that is about to be laid above the 10th Road, that goes past his residence right up to Prateeksha, and then with promises to meet again depart … depart to be here with you to share and ware … !!!
They are now getting desperate downstairs. They want me down so the street can be cleared. I am concerned. Also that Subhash Ghai is coming to pay a visit and I must tell staff to get him in through the well wishers. I will put up some pictures too … a little later … and a little much later back to Aadesh Shrivastav's studio to improve, to do better, to add to subtract that which shall enhances the music and the recording for 'Madhushala' …
I do believe my Father listens and watches this effort … it would never happen if it were not so …
Okaay ! So a different look and a different set of clothes … a departure from the regular recuperating attire, the salwar kameez and white shawl … symbolic of easy wear, comfortable but also one that has been worn each day after hospital .. and the reason is the shoot for the IPL opening night … !!
Hey ! its coming to be past midnight … the whole idea of putting in early … by the pm of 7 has been lost … anyway ..
Good night dear ones …
Jalsa , Mumbai Mar 24/25 , 2012 Sat/Sun 1 : 39 AM
A temple just outside the studio of Aadesh Shrivastav, near by, celebrates festival .. songs and 'bhajans' are being sung .. the 'manjeera', the small sized cymbals often associated with prayer meetings, plays softly, almost distant to where the singing progresses … a large Ganesh ji with many heads stares majestically down the road where I drive and drive out a minute ago ..
Inside within the confines of sound proofed walls and computers and electronic plugged in gadgetry, we play around with buttons and prerecorded sound, placing them in right order, singing the verses of Madhushala, the 'alaap' and lending orchestral brilliance to the basic structure that I made in an impromptu setting on my piano.
What a different world this is. And yet the real world is just a few feet away. We crave today in music sittings for the age of unplugged instrumentation. The reality and the joy of listening to the original sounds of string and 'dholak'. Of the great masters and their wares – the Sarod, Shehnai, Sarangi, Sitar. All lost and buried under the weight of modern sounds, mastered and manufactured through science and technology … away from the days of learning through years and years of practice and devotion from the elder masters .. from 'gharanas', the old world house or regions where a particular style of playing came about and those connected with it felt proud to be representatives of it .. all gone and overtaken by technology.
Gone are the days when at song recordings over 100-150 musicians sat through days in large studios, and played to perfection in one single take. A mistake by one resulting in the entire song being recorded again. Now the electronics take over. A small room, barely 5′ by 6′ houses a large machine that balances sound, a microphone which stands in for the singer and the instrument both. On a basic beat the singer comes and sings a song and goes away. Musicians with their electronic devices come in separately do their piece and go away. The arranger comes in and arranges all that has been put before him into a song and goes away. Mastering happens where all the singing and the tone of the instruments are checked, brought into tune through masterful computers that can sing for you and … viola !! We have song !!
A few grunts and screams and hisses from the mouth form part of the song that now climbs up rapidly on the charts and no attention is given to the written or rather the sung portion of the tune. Words are futile and have little or no meaning. Beat is of paramount importance, and yes the capability of the song being remixed for the clubs around the country, for the younger generation to dance to it in intoxication ..
I wonder then as I sit vacant in the studio … who would want to listen to the words and philosophy of my Father ? It would hurt me beyond measure if it were to be looked upon as something that needed to be designed for commercial value. Best then to make this my personal play effort and remain with it in my solitude and hesitate to share it. I would, if I were assured that the listener were to be in the same frame as I was. It is a proposition that seems irrelevant with today's youth.
So … make it and keep it and live with it alone in its beauty. Getting the others on the same plane is asking for much too much. The humiliation if they treated it shabbily would be difficult to overcome. I shall live with it on my own ! Sharing it with them that do not have the intent to understand it, would diminish its wonderful sheen. Better then to burst into trance like condition within the silence and contours of my own little space, than to be seen coaxing another into submission and forced liking.
I leave in a few hours to dub for the event for the IPL, being launched in Chennai on April 3rd .. to recite and invite the opening of this season with the cricketing greats of countries across the world, many of whom one sees almost every other day on the tube. Now an opportunity to meet them face to face. A great desire fulfilled, a memory to cherish ..
Good night ..
Saturday, March 24, 2012
The presence of loved ones by your side, in your lap, on your head brings all that is possibly beautiful
Friday, March 23, 2012
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Jalsa , Mumbai Mar 21 , 2012 Wed 11 : 30 PM
I seek the goodness of those greats that have through centuries spent years in understanding society, building norms, and blessing us with the writings and words and thoughts that they leave behind. What nature of men and women must they have been ? What would have been their inspiration and desire to put all this down for it to be followed in the shape and form of a practiced religion ? How did religion give birth ? What did the sacred writings mean to humankind when they first encountered it ? What motivated some to follow in one direction and others to follow in another ? How did the belief and the practice of it become rigid and firm and committed ? Firm to the extent of giving their lives for its furtherance or its defense. It has been centuries since … but even today we do not change, despite the social and moral changes, despite the understanding and the scientific maturing of many of the beliefs. Where and how did this learning come from. Some believe it was the Guru's and the Saints that wrote it. Others believe it was a revelation from the God's above. That there was divine introduction to all that the belief believed in. What a stimulating and wondrous period of humanity that must have been … the setting of norms and scriptures and worship and its modalities … ones that have survived through all these centuries without change. Yes there has been a tributarisation, directions have differed, codes and construct has evolved … but … the basic belief has never changed – the existence and the reverence it has deserved …
Atheists, theosophists and their like shall be gathering to challenge and debate this … the good and the bad, or the bad and the good shall face each other .. resulting in an even stronger show of what each believes in … or not …
Religion has such inert strength and vigor .. its beliefs even more commendable, strong and stable. Equally strong are those that do not believe .. that have reason and argument for it … I would not challenge either .. I would wish and hope and pray that peace prevail .. that if sentiment is defiled or hurt, its act should be regretted. It is distressing to observe antagonism and for me particularly to live in it. Once done it shall remain with me for ever .. silently … but present all the same …
Good night and my love …