A Sunday a leaving of the children a sadness and a longing for them to be back again soon

 Jalsa , Mumbai              Jan 15/16,  2012               Sun/Mon  1 : 20 AM

 A Sunday .. a leaving of the children … a sadness … and a longing for them to be back again soon ! A Sunday .. a visit by the well wishers .. a visit too by Vinod Chopra and Joel Edgerton, colleague in The Great Gatsby with friend Chris .. A Sunday … and finally finding time to get to Aadesh Shrivastava’s studio to record the song of Peace in honor of all those who suffer from terrorist attacks, particularly those that sacrificed their lives during the 26/11 attack on Mumbai .. the Mumbai Police force … !!

In all this the most satisfying of course the early morning visit to the ‘little one’ and to see her in deep slumber and then the hours spent with Aadesh in his studio and music … to sing to record to hear other compositions to jam to make other tunes for forthcoming films … I miss this vocation and I must learn the craft before it is too late .. late for me to move my fingers over the ‘black and white’, to spend time in solitude to connect with the purity of the classical to just be in the realm of the purity of notes and not be disturbed or bothered by other worldly charms .. that would be a classic in itself !!

But the big question is a but … a but that shall define when it is all going to happen. Making up ones mind is an exercise that does not come easily to Librans and we suffer .. suffer to the extent of self damage !! But do I must as I would the pending reading and the pending learning of languages and so much more that one wishes to do .. Oh ! dear !!

I leave you with this for the moment … I have got delayed and it goes beyond the hour of the doctors prescription … so …

One says good night and god bless …

Amitabh Bachchan

Try to compose a few words listening to music impossible

Jalsa , Mumbai                  Jan 14,  2012          Sat  11 : 46 PM

 Try to compose a few words listening to music  .. impossible ! Listen to the music or write, those are the options. So off with the music ! Ah !! Thats much better. Mind works better, thoughts keep pouring out, literature flows, philosophy at its best … rubbish ! Not a word that makes any sense gets punched. But .. lovely to be talking about it, don’t you think ? Yes ! I think its right .. funny that I should ask the question and give the reply too .. but really, that is what we do in our daily lives do we not ? Of course we do – we speak to ourselves often enough and give the answers too. Mostly that which we want to hear and not the ones suggested by others. A fair assessment and one that requires no great detail in understanding … so let it be let it be .. a la Beatles … now why on earth did they come into this. Ok .. now that they have, we shall indulge !!

This generation may not value them as much as we did, but they were and still are the ultimate !! And what a craze and following and madness about them – the hair, the music, the songs, their lives, their LP’s – LP’s were the modern day CD’s of Mp3′s or whatever other format exists on music listening today, everything about them was nothing short of being godly !!

In those early days of Kolkata, when they were emerging the giants that they were, the rush to get the LP’s of their latest, a rarity because they were not as freely available as music is now. You waited for that odd chance of a friend travelling to London, a rarity by itself, and then after a long and tedious gap to acquire the sound that has been heard perhaps on radio, or at a frequently travelled friends place.

The changes in the dance form on the floor or at that club, where the traditional ball room or at the very most the cha cha were predominant, an invasion of a movement where there was no body contact, no control on how the body ‘shook’, so long as it shook, or was it the ‘shake’ that was popular, you were considered with it. When a few of those England returns performed it first time, we all laughed and ridiculed this 440 volt affected human. But soon it lent weight and company and momentum, so that even after some 50 years, there is still no body contact, no idea where your partner is, or whether you did have one. Independence ! That would describe this art form somewhat acutely. Independent in its execution. Independent in its movement. Independent from all the written books and the learning of steps for the fox trot, the waltz, tango and Charlton … nothing required now … simply feel it and give in to the involuntary movement of the limbs. In todays club world dancing you could well be in the confines of a gymnasium and it would not matter ..

But the romance and the effect of the touch and feel of ball room dancing has vanished. There was a certain decorum in it. The getting up and asking the lady for the dance, the position of statured elegance as you stretched your hands to gently allow the lady to rest hers on yours. The firm yet gentle guidance that one conducted by the other hand on her waist, moving and controlling her composure as it were. Those piercing looks as you held her and talked of the weather and everything else under the sun, as you avoided stamping her elegant dress by your out of rhythm feet, her hand gently resting on your shoulder – a picture of support to the woman in your arms. A gesture of care and protection !! All gone now !! Your protection these days is from the waving and pumping of the hands and feet of your neighbor on the floor. Not your partner whom you had initially asked, but your neighbor !!It is rather ridiculous but such fun .. do you not think ?? Thank you for confirming my ideology !!

And as I press ‘return’ to change lanes, I find myself drifting away towards the bed, waltz like and into slumber !

Good night dear ones .. dancing tonight in your dreams … !!

Amitabh Bachchan

ps: Barun and family of the Ef meeting up .. a joy to be acquainted with his daughter Megna and son Rion !!

Friday the 13th of the month and a belief that it is a day one should be aware of disaster and evil going

Jalsa , Mumbai                       Jan  13,  2012                      Fri  11 : 11 PM

 Friday the 13th of the month and a belief that it is a day one should be aware of disaster and evil goings on .. but may I just say that, today has been one of the more relaxed, anxiety less, harmonious days of the year ! Which isn’t saying much, considering that the month has just begun, but there … Sometimes premonition and its sister superstition, can play merry havoc in our lives and there are many that religiously follow such acts, but it has been seen and observed that quite the opposite happens, provided the faith is good.

Faith in such matters is often a wild conjecture. It may not deliberately be done, but when allowed to prevail shall produce some interesting results. Getting out of bed in the morning and the side, which step you put first as you enter a place of importance – a home or temple or the work place. The dress to be worn and what the colors may be after all the formalities in the bath are over, where I am certain many do occur – which brush, what toothpaste, soap, the brush you use for the hair …. and then the route you take to work and what one encounters on the streets as you drive by. The face first seen at the work place … the list of incongruities just refuses to stop. And it is often noticed that those that possess the greatest knowledge of the stars and the horoscopes and the birth timings and the janam patris, are the ones that get affected most by it. It is a science here in India and one that is seriously followed and taught at University levels, the reading and the meanings of horoscopes and the delicacy of astrology. But in most other regions it is more the science of numerology and the planchet of sprit calling that prevails. Or does it really ??

The desire of the human to know ahead of time what time holds for them has always been a great attraction. When will the hours get more conducive for my career, when will the Gods smile over my success, how long will this period of the evil last and so on …

The uncertainties of life, its immense irregularity and intrigue, is far too complicated for the common human. And because of its great relevance in everyday operation one is desperate to know ahead what follows or what it is that needs repair for plain sailing. After which … and this is a big after .. religion creeps in ! If it is unknown then it is certainly a gift from the heavens. Religion brings answers in prayer and devotion. Sometimes the prayer works, well we may think so for the moment. But that is the level of understanding when issues and problems reach a solution. It was Gods will ! He thinks well and good for humanity ! He will not be wrong !

And soon there are millions of followers. Faith moves them. Faith moves many other things too, but for the moment, this faith has greater importance. Prayer, places of worship, practices and rigid routines take prominence. Disobey them and face the wrath of the Almighty ! And soon there are strong divides and alienation that occurs. Wars get fought at the cost of believers and non believers. Customs and practices edge each other away. They are there, we  are here territories get drawn. Humanity in its penchant for a credible answer, gets divided into sections and sub sections. And yet … no answer is forthcoming !!

Then the non believers move in, destroy the age old and ancient systems and lure us into the practical and scientific propensities of the faith that grew with us. And a large section of people move along with them. Some of whom patronize this very page that they read ! Nothing wrong with it. We all have a mind and the liberty to think and asses differently, not necessarily with a herd mentality of following all that comes their way with some elements of belief !

I believe. But does it mean that all must believe too ? No not at all. Its just that we never wanted to travel too deep into the process that could make us nonbelievers.

The strength of millions of those that believe in one direction is so vast and so large that it would require immense strength to face up against it. And many do not battle with it, because they realize that it could be a lost cause. That is their wanting. You must want to believe. When you want something as badly as belief, you will get it. And when it does, it seals all else for life !! That, in this very inverse existence of mankind, could become the only truth for them.

Yes I pray and believe in worship of the deities. So what ? Does it reduce me in any manner ? And does it divulge my sense of superstition ? Who cares, even if it does. Seldom those that pray never divulge what they pray for. They should not, its personal. I do not propagate my belief on to the other. I do not exhibition it on the streets and invite others to follow. I live with my realm within and do not see any reason for it to be known to the others. But, visiting places of prayer and belief does not make me any less in my belief. I visit for the tranquility of my soul. Why must it be conjectured by those that spread word and comment, that there is more to it than just that. Do not thrust your assumption of belief on me. I am standardized enough and intelligent enough to gauge it myself, without your kind assistance. Thank you !!

My own superstition may work for me. I cannot predict whether it will work for others. I do not need to !!

Good night and …

Amitabh Bachchan