Jalsa , Mumbai Mar 8/9, 2012 Thu/ Fri 1 : o4 AM
Amidst the throbbing music and the gaiety of the festival that surrounds the environs all over, I do sit myself down in the sun, facing it, feeling the warmth of its power on the body and pondering over the silence that prevails within. There are no sudden thoughts that prevail, no issues that torment .. just the dichotomy of the sound without and the quiet within. I would have been happier if there was nostalgic remembrance. Of days gone by, of the associations on this day of festivity during all the years of its playing – pleasant mostly, but at times disturbing. Of events that took place, of the people that associated with us, of the dance and wild singing, of on the spot verses to suit the music, of driving out into the madness on the streets, of visits to compatriots and joining in with them in their happiness and joy. All should have come back in the silence. But they did not. It was just the presence and feel of being looked at by none other than myself from a distance. The odd member came by, to ask for any need, food drink or color … but nothing made impression. It was almost as though nothing else existed …
Not the most ideal conditions to be in at a festive home, but there it was …
I took the benefit of the ailment and my condition to keep the color and revery at some distance. Watching my disposition, I think I did not have to work too hard for that. A respectful senior citizen presence was accepted and respected. Elders do at times attract such condition.
In the quiet of my room now, I wonder what it is that shall attract my Ef to read. But my Ef is least bothered about it. They seem happy and fulfilled merely at the thought of having read something from me, even it has not been of much value. For this I am eternally grateful. You thank me for not forgetting to connect, for remembering all of you, and that for me is most gratifying.
The need to connect, to have an opportunity to say something to somebody you trust, is at times the need of the hour. I find the joy that gets created when that connect takes place. A word, a sentence, just a ‘hi’ or ‘hello’ is all that many require or insist upon. And I wonder, that there must be such a paucity of genuine affection and love in all our minds, to be simply happy with just that expression.
We never had this medium before. We never had the desire to make effort to communicate. We had fans and fan letters at the very most. But now we have expression every second. And what a change it has brought among peoples and societies. We are able to talk to each much more than we ever did. The generations that went by, formed their own impressions of each other through some very tedious and other means. But just look at how much we communicate. At each occasion and festival and moment of greeting the messages on the mobile on the net on the cyber on the computer is just uncontrollable. People you have never heard of write in. They express greeting, and love and affection, and not always with the hope of a response, but just to feel that they were able to convey what they wished, knowing that even though the reply would be hard to come by, at least their greeting was registered and delivered.
A new world is, or rather has been, created. I may never have seen the person that wishes me daily on the mobile or on the Blog or the Twitter, but we know who they are through the context of their connection. A platform is built and it flourishes. People talk of the world drifting far away from each other. I think the contrary. I think that we come closer as time goes by. Dev Kishen ji passed away and the members of the Ef gathered together and paid visit to his home to express regret and condolence. He would have gone unnoticed to so many of us had we not the benefit of this platform. But the compassion that this family built among itself, speaks volumes of its glorified existence.
I feel a sense of great pride when I notice, that not just to me, but also to yourselves does this indulgence occur. Strangers do meet and build permanent and emotional relations, feeling as much for the other as they would for themselves. And all of you must be thanked for its existence its extent and its eventual value.
I repair well dear ones. My movements are getting stronger and better by the day. The strength in the voice is weak, the body still pains at certain times, but in all there is a great difference from the times in the hospital and now. The wounds of the two surgeries have healed and sealed – they generally do on their own, or so they tell me. Certain actions need care. Food needs monitoring and rest .. which as you may see, has now gone beyond the domestic human rights diameter. But body changes take a while to adjust themselves and there is nothing that can be done to enhance its natural process. I thank all those that inquire and worry about this, but may I assure you that all possible care shall be taken to follow the required instructions ..
Good night, shubh ratri, shabba khair, sat sri akaal ..