Amitabh Bachchan BigB: I think it is that they are named, in cylindrical containers

Sunday, April 8, 2012

I think it is that they are named, in cylindrical containers

the region of southern crown, Chennai Apr 2, 2012 Mon 9:22 PM

Cookies and chips .. Pringles, I think it is that they are named, in cylindrical containers .. have formed a major potion of another day living in hostile condition with the ‘flies’ that ‘butter’ . Is it not customary that such gastro conditioning, causes random, excessive devouring of elements, that one can first put sight on ? Whether they do or not is not under question. That they have and have been executed well and to perfection … the little chamber by the side of my table, loaded with my entire communication utensils, looks somewhat forlorn and deserted .. is the moot point !!

The trouble with cookies, especially the kind that sprinkle themselves with alluring chocolate portions, and who at very short notice appear temptingly at mouth watering intervals within the crunches of the biscuit, is that ‘once begun is half done’ !! No ! Not true ! The adage falls short. Its ‘once begun is not over till its done’ ! And that, ladies and gentlemen of this most attractive culinary platform, is where all problems begin. Irrespective of how satisfying your dinner may have been, unless it is further lined by these brownies, the night seems incomplete, young and most undesirable !

I need my night. I need my cookie. I need my Pringle chips. Period ! I just did not need it all day. And now that I have confessed to it .. if you shall excuse me, I wish to lean across and pick another one, before I stare at an empty plastic case ! ….

Ok ! Leaning over was a bother, so I reduced the distance. It sits healthily by the laptop, not too distant from the … yup, you guessed it right … the Pringles !! Pringle and Choc Chip Cookies, excuse the alliteration, vie with each other as to who shall ‘empty’ first … a sign I do believe, of some individual importance to either brand !!

This is incorrigible !! The word count at the bottom of the page reads 325 ! And I cannot believe that ‘alliteration’ and ‘..ingles’ have met with such importance !!!! I can only guess that this has come to pass by the miraculous ingredients that ‘gastro’ was dealt with, shortly before this invasion – the pill ! Not ‘the’ pill .. just pill. The one suggested by the medico to obliterate pangs of sharp knife edging pain, in the region of the surgical assignment.

Hmmmumggapphumgtggunmm … apologies … another ‘alliteration’ just lost its identity !! Need to counter that with ‘Pring’ the salted ring !!

I say … this is most rude is it not. ‘Elbows off the table. Munching mouth shut in some elegance, and no speaking while eating’ … ha ! reminds one of boarding school meal times, especially with a Tennis Blue Welsh Principal, the Rev R C Llwelyn, may his soul rest in peace, trudging down the aisles of the dining room, his large frame bearing the wind along his cape, now flowing majestically behind. One error of judgement and the registering of two cane points. Reach six, and its into his ante room, bending over the wheel barrow strategically positioned for such encounters, for a stinging four cuts of the finest well oiled bamboo canes, elaborately placed in an ornate drawer ! Next morning, during ‘baths’ – that is what we called the community dorm bathing day – the black stripes of the whipping, showing up on flushed cheeks of posterior – a polite synonym for ‘bum’ – while 50 other ‘bum’ mates – nothing suggestive here people, just a mention of fellow bathers – doubled over hysterically !!!!

‘Six of the best’ was reserved terminology for graver ‘crimes’ at School. Breaking bounds to sneak in to visit the ‘dames’ at sister school across the valley. Or stealthily crossing many forest areas, we were Sherwood College after all, to the Governor’s Summer resort to take a dip into his swimming pool ! This of course until we built our own with our own hands. On our visit to Sherwood for the 50 years of the Class of ’58, some years back, we prided ourselves in informing the ‘youngsters’ that each brick laid at the construction of the pool, was done by the sweat and tears of our very hands, come rain or hail !!

So the eventual question that I can feel building up among the Ef is : ‘Did you ever get the six !’

And the answer is : Several times !! And for all the reasons mentioned above and some more !!

School days, in boarding, the happiest days of our life ! Coincidentally that was the name of the first stage play I did in Sherwood – ” The Happiest Days of your Life ” … and ironically was about the sister school of a boarding outfit, catching fire and making it impossible for the girls to board in, and they landing up at the boys school seeking accommodation, generously agreed upon by the two Principals, and the resulting confusions that arose in every day existence !!

How we had all silently wished that that would happen with us at Sherwood and our sister School, All Saints – err, minus the fire of course !!

Good night dearest ones .. the cookies do not look too attractive and neither does the Pringle ..

Amitabh Bachchan