Jalsa , Mumbai Apr 9 , 2012 Mon 9 : 50 PM
To all those that wish Jaya on her birthday, a warm and gracious thank you …
So last night just after I had finished with the Blog, I rose from my desk to get to bed, but excruciating pain, stopped me in my tracks and I found it difficult to walk to stand to sit to lie down. Quite horrendous ! This was not there post operation even … so what really is the reason for it two months down the line ? I have no answer. But tomorrow there should be one as I prepare for a CT Scan, after devouring a large bottle or bottles of that yellow fluid, that shall line the internal organs so the scan can pick up any region that could be infected or being the cause for the pain.
A pain killer has done the job for the day, but because they need to be taken with some restriction, I try to bear up with the discomfort for as long as I can. I do also believe that posture and angles and particular movement is really the cause for it. A long stay on my desk then with Twitter and Blog and email and Google and iTunes and iPhoto, has now been self discovered as being harmful. Knowing the repercussions I do keep moving about, even while seated, to, in a sense, lubricate the various functions of the body movements in order to stem any recurrence of the condition.
I notice that there is huge concern with the Ef, but, whilst I do appreciate this, I must reassure you that matters are still under control … well most of it anyway !!
I shall refrain from the gory details of medical adventures and move on to matters that could bring me closer to the glories of the bed. And for that unfortunately I may have to restrict my conversation to the barest minimum.
I read and I read that which I could share with my Ef. I gather information, details and question issues like never before that I observe. They had another meaning before. They have another now. It is a deliberate attempt to gather that which can be shared with all. And it is this that in a sense educates me in my communication skills, or my efforts to keep all of us together and not lose any.
So … a small piece from a translation of works written by Thomas Bernhard, writer, novelist of great literary fame :
‘We say we have the right to what’s right and just, but we only have a right to what’s not right and what’s unjust …
The problem is to get work done, which means advancing over all one’s inner resistance and evident mindlessness … and this means advancing over myself and the bodies of dead philosophers, over all of literature, all of science, all of history, everything .. it is a question of one’s spiritual concentration, of isolation and distance … of monotony .. of utopia .. of idiocy …
The problem is always to get work done while thinking that work will never get done and nothing will ever get done … The question is : to go on, heedless of the consequences, to go on, or to stop, to call it a day … it is the question of doubt, of mistrust and impatience.’
Ponder over it .. it speaks at times the language that we all perhaps go through and never know ..
With my love,