Jalsa , Mumbai June 2, 2012 Sat 11 : 59 PM
39 years !! And just made it to the blog in time to write. A minute more and all the headers would have had to undergo change. Greetings have been exchanged, family has gathered round with wishes, balloons cakes and exotic flowers from near and dear occupy most of the space in the house. The basket of mogra being the best. Now .. a time to reminisce, to go back and relive those moments, to remember all that transpired.
‘Zanjeer’ had just released. And Jaya and I and a few dear friends had decided that if the film did well we would all go to London for a holiday. After a few anxious days on the results of the box office, it was time to put our decision ‘in line’. I had written ‘on line’ forst, but quickly deleted it. It has different connotations now. That is the most credible ready reckoner of the years gone by !
So I told my parents, who I had now invited to come and live with me, as is the culture in our land, about our decision. And my Father came down heavily on me. ” If you are planning a holiday with this girl, you will have to marry her and go, else your decision is denied !”
I was an obedient child ! I got married the very next day in a quickly organized wedding with family and some dear friends, without any fanfare, and left for the holiday that very night.
Marriages and weddings entail great amount of ritual and protocol and decorum and priests and pundits and maulvis. They last for days with great fanfare. Ours was a simple Bengali pundit wedding, exchange of flowered garlands, the mangal sutra, the sindoor and it was all over before the women from Jaya’s side could stop their finger in mouth screams of ‘odododooooo’ … or words to that effect.
Its a state of mind and trust , marriage. No amount of ritual or practiced form, will ever replace that. Guests are invited so they can be public witnesses to the event. Relatives are called, so they know and see who their new lot of relations are going to be. You could be at a social gathering and someone gets introduced to you. You acknowledge their presence. He then ushers in a lady with him and says ‘meet my wife’. You accept that immediately do you not. You don’t suddenly say – ‘er .. excuse me sir, have any proof she’s your wife ?’ !!
And that trust and faith lasts a lifetime. Or should.
The evening was spent seeing a film which at the end of it all gave a few lessons to ponder over. No .. it was not about marriage. That topic is over and done. It was about effort and failure. Normally we see the correct moral and poetic justice plane in films where everything works out good. But here was a film that did not do that. It showed an effort gone wrong and the main, facing defeat and accepting it – in American political jargon doing a ‘confessional’ speech after a loss. That done those that worked along ask what needs to be done now. And the main quotes two examples -
His grandfather he said, actively fought WW II, and as soon as he came to know of the Japanese surrender, the next day he dropped dead. His Father served the country’s navy and when his term was over, he came home and went into the deepest depression ever, never to come out of it.
The grandfather died because he discovered that he would have nothing to do now that the war was over ! The Father went into depression for the same reason. It was important the main concluded, to continue … !!
I just felt even though I was enjoying the film from the word go, that the ending was the one that I identified with most. To continue, even in the most adverse situations in life !!
So I continue to do what I have been doing all these years, with failure and adverse situations … the lot. It may never take me where I have perhaps been earlier, but when was that ever a criterion …
And …. I continue to write to you, good bad indifferent … the lot !!
Love and more ..