One of the great joys of life is the privilege and absolute delight that one encounters in the presence of grandchildren

London,  U.K    May  25,  2011     Wed  9: 27 PM  gmt

One of the great joys of life is the privilege and absolute delight that one encounters in the presence of grandchildren. Mine are here with me in London and spending ‘quality time’ here with them has been a most rewarding experience. Quality time within quotes has been done to draw attention to a terminology that reeks of corporate managerial lingo, often used by parents who consider it an obligatory duty to be with their own progeny. I find it most offensive and demeaning, not just to myself, were I to be placed in such category, but to those little wonders who inhabit such an important portion of their being with us. It is the deep innocence of the growing child that has always been a most endearing quality. To see that being destroyed or disillusioned by detachment, separation or dislike must be the most horrific of crimes that mankind can afflict upon its other.

During my little sojourn recently, I had the great pleasure of meeting a family that lived close by where we were, and to discover that they officially created a home for those little hearts that had been subjected to such harsh realities. They housed within their modest home a girl in her teens, and two young boys aged 8 and 5 perhaps, that had been displaced from their parents and had been rendered almost without help, until the state moved in and legally and officially gave their custody to this family. I learnt from them that the parents of these children had been declared incapable of looking after their own blood and so had agreed to let their children be cared after by another parent in another home. The couple that managed them and the house they were in, had their own genetic child as well, a grown son of 17 and all of them lived together as one big family. On occasion the children were taken across to their real parents to spend ‘quality time’ with them and then brought back to their foster home. And .. on most such visits, the adopted children were more at ease and comfort with the adopted than with their own.

How does a parent explain disinterest, or aversion to their own ? How can a Mother ever claim not wanting to be with her own child. To caress and hold and embrace, irrespective of their condition. These little hearts, bright and beautiful, innocent and wide eyed … how could any parent ever dream of parting with them. But they have and I am unable to assess how they feel, but I am told that there is no remorse, or emotion in the fact of the separateness of their children from them.

I marvel at the effort being made by the home that gives these lost and vacant children more than deserving, love and care. I marvel at the quality of the children that, knowing their circumstance, continue to adhere themselves to the foster than their own. And my admiration for the couple that looks after them as their own increases many fold, when I am told that the man in the house, is himself a victim of such a circumstance. As a little child he was thrown out of his home by his parents on to the streets, discarded and disowned, to fend for himself. He has today built himself up through sheer dint of hard work and existence and reached a stage of some integral comfort, to be able to volunteer and help those that find themselves in conditions similar to his. Remarkable !!

Today the home for those that are homeless, is the home where they are now. Today they treat the couple that looks after them as their own blood and treat them as parents. This is wonderful. But I wonder, when they shall mature and grow and get wise of the world and its complexities. When the vagaries of life and its harsh truths shall be known to them. When they will be subjected to reality, what then ? Would they still acknowledge those that cared for them ? Would they value the sacrifice made, or as does often happen in the West, they would leave home for greener pastures. What and how would they reflect on their life ? How would they treat their own, were they to encounter them at some stage. And what of the parent, the true blooded. Would they continue to look upon them that they discarded, with similar disdain, or would their be a change of affection ? Would they be able to know what affection to child is, having lived away in deliberate reason ? What complexities would this give rise to in the mental health of those that suffered and those that created the suffering ?

I have no answers to many of these. I have no answers because the circumstance has not subjected me to such condition. I can but only say that there rises a thankfulness towards my creator in keeping me away from such. In making my life a normal suitable one, for there are so many other that suffer.

We trouble our complicated mind with greater complications, when in fact there is enough reason to be grateful for what we have - a life of normalcy ! We tax our minds on material gains and envious visions of what we do not have, but the neighbor does. We are foolish to think thus. We forget the value of our own body, mind and normal circumstance. When we can be proud of this, boast about its purity and form, then shall we be considered as human, else we shall turn towards another kingdom, the kingdom of an animal. But even there, it has so often been noticed, parentage is guarded fiercely ! Is it so difficult to not behave even as an animal in these circumstances ?

I return to my bed … but have just hugged my blood and my blood’s blood .. held them tight, given them the warmth of my feeling and presence, caressed them and told them how much they are loved and cared for. No matter where, no matter what .. they shall ever remain so … !!

Amitabh Bachchan

There are some joys in moving away. There are some joys in coming in. Which is greater one never can tell

London , UK         May 24/25 , 2011    Tue/Wed  2 : 00 am   gmt

There are some joys in moving away. There are some joys in coming in. Which is greater one never can tell.

Some moving aways are sorrowful and continue to be with you till you come in, and remain for a time. What is this and why ? One has never been able to understand. Detachment is what the knowledged teach, not to get too close or too attached, for when the time comes to move away the pain and sorrow may dilute. Preaching is word perfect. Its practice an unopened window. The time taken in assessing its timing could take time to a higher degree. Best then to remain in the grain till it lasts and remove without pain when it does not.

I notice that many fail to understand the pervious post, or suggest that it be written simply for it makes difficult reading. Some express anxiety at the issue that could have caused me to write thus. Neither need attention. I write with an open heart and with some informality. It could cause adverse understandability. It is not written to. But if it does then it would be inappropriate to change it. What is done is done. Be it as it may - without sense, without meaning whatever … but as is. Perhaps this could be the state that the post finds itself in.

It is now a part of me. I would never want to change it.

So the climes of solitude are over and the chimes of the urban metro fill up almost as if the vacuum was unbearable. Strange though it may seem, but even a short burst of solitude urges one to return back to life of life’s aapadhaapi. The rush of it. Those that hibernate here in the city, would not understand the enthusiasm of the non metro and perhaps vice versa.

Never seen or been in a metropolis is by itself an awesome experience. It overwhelms. Never seen or been in the rural is an awesome experience too and it overwhelms as much. In a land where both exist, it is difficult for one to make the quantum leap to catch up with the other. Equally it makes it awfully depressive in the reverse. What then ?

I do not have any answers on this. Perhaps the learned on the blog or on the EF may have some inputs that could resolve this in more ways than one. I attempted it once. When I committed myself to public service and life. But found it too harsh and with a bearing which did not give me the qualification to pursue. But indeed the life of one as opposed to the other, is vast and disillusioning at times. We feel for those that lack. We applaud those that achieve. Is there a possibility of a balance ? No I doubt much. Those who have not need to have. How will they have if the haves are constrained is one argument. Putting all issues to the state is also unwarranted. It shall not happen. Individual help and assistance can only go this much and no more. Hence the balance and its vast importance.

Who then will decide the balance, or measure its scale. Another issue ! That then is the problem. Not the desire, not the keenness to balance, but to find a suitable measure of rightful balance. Many of those that come up with noble execution, face the ignominy of being what they are termed as being. A leader of men may have a solution, which another may find creating far too great a value to his position and could as well want to destroy. It happens in politics, in business, even in entertainment. Guile then is the password. Guile ? In politics acceptable. In business too. But in entertainment ? Difficult to understand. But I am told happens. More so now with the fresh crop, that manages and knows the strengths of management and marketing. And they gain and progress. Perhaps not so much in the art, but in the art of management, and thereby success.

We have a lot to learn yet. Life teaches every day. Don’t go to school one day and find yourself washed away from the shore into the deep ocean, never to be retrieved again. That is sad. But true.

I need to learn a lot …

Amitabh Bachchan

Ekant Sangeet the music of solitude of being alone, singular BigB

Ekant     May 23 ,  2011   Mon  11 : 00 PM

Ekant Sangeet … the music of solitude … of being alone, singular or a certain quietude, away from all other, left to oneself, discarded, forgotten and removed … into oblivion !!

Many wish it for themselves. Many wish it for you.

Those that are ‘themselves’ perhaps will it so, from circumstance desire and deliberate. Those that ‘wish’ it, do it with hate and vengeance, of retaliate and envy .. a dash of jealousy, zealous with intent, the presence of your eminence of some harm to them. They that fall into such a morass depict despicable nature. They fall each day into an abyss, deep and unable to extricate themselves from it. They shall never be able to breathe their swim to the top into a fresh air. They know they shall breathe, but instead fill their lungs with the acqua of devastation and death. That is scary. Scary for them. They have seen and perhaps know better what awaits them. They repent not for they know repentance needs the hemispheric air. They are so deep within the tons of trillion tons that they shall not survive. Might as well then expound all the evil that they can. The heavens shall not revive them they know, let the devil then be proud of their evil. Someone of consolation !!!

But of them that wish it for themselves - the silence of purity, the beauty of nothing extreme except the vast coverage of the ethereal atmosphere, never dark, never oppressive, but bright and inviting, enveloping all that governs their existence ! A mind then that remains clear even on clouded realm. One that exudes tolerance, fortitude, forgiveness and understanding - they then are the chosen one. The one that shall bear the cross, hang in pain but be liberated from it for they rise and lift in deliverance. Their ascension shall never be questioned, or debated or doubted. Their ascent shall be driven by those that once threw the stones of despise and evil. That shall and will be their most acclaimed position, never to be argued, never to be wasted upon !!

These shall be in peace. Those other shall live in the depth of decrepit foul emission !

Glory then to us. Shame and insignificance to them, as they burn and rot in their own stew !!

‘Ekant Sangeet’ … the title of one of the 60 odd books that remained with my Father in his words. His solitude, his pain and his lonely life surrounded by misery and death for a large portion of his life. Until … the advent of a certain ‘tej’, that speed and brightness of spark, one that could enlighten environs with admirable optimism. One that gave him reason for ‘light everlasting and unconquerable’. Blessed and in awe ever !

I am but a reflection, mirrored in the supreme brightness of its shine. The mirror cracks and mists with impurity at times, but disturbs not the reflect, nor the image that remains seen. I must strive to remain in the mirrored image. To be of relevance to those that seek reflection and refraction. And for those that come after me, admonished they may be, doubted and unfairly judged, let them be with piece of mirror, for, the piece shall piece together the greatness of its fullness. This is not desire of Father and of the Son or of the Holy Ghost, it is but expected deemed ..

Amen !!

Amitabh Bachchan

Nothingness contributes to nothingness, they say BigB

‘Ekant’       May 22,  2011      Sun 11 : 56 PM

Nothingness contributes to nothingness, they say. I would tend to agree with this with some elements of hesitancy thrown in. Rest and relaxation could be in the realm of doing nothing except perhaps to come away from harsh work schedules. There may not be work in it, but the rest in recuperating the mind and body could be of immense benefit. If there are no dead lines to meet, no appointments to rush to, no time lines to be met, the exercise could well be quite rewarding. Other than taking in the fresh air, there really isn’t much to take in on such occasions. It would differ I should imagine if the person involved were to be finding rest and relaxation in his or her work itself. Then of course the reason for rest would have to be negated and forfeited. But other than this, it would be of interest to see how others reacted. Many during this time take up new and untouched ventures. Vocations that do not have any relevance to their immediate work. Its a brave attempt. An attempt I think that could in the long run enhance some aspect of their regular work. Which is an interesting way of looking at it. Working as an actor, but playing golf for example in that spare moment - competition, concentration, patience, correct choices in the iron - correct decisions on the project film ! Funny how everything gets interrelated ! Such magic ! Play a sport to win always, obsess labor plan. Do a movie and bring in those practices again. Fascinating ! I know many that approach either with similar sentiment and are cause for envy. But why. Each individual should have his or her game plan in a professional world. Most, in an individual professional world. This is our realm our job our life, it would need all that it needs to succeed and prosper. Why then disuade them from practicing what they need to practice, when they work for its enhancement.

There are friendships and associations and holding hands in various professions. Can we honestly say that they are above the consideration that they have been formed with ? Does it not cross our minds at some stage that an association would benefit a certain cause other than what the association is about ? Invite someone over for dinner, for who knows, tomorrow we may need him. Lets send him or her flowers and a card on the birthday or anniversary. They are important people !! And on …

At some stage of our lives we have all sat back and thought or executed such acts. Who to acknowledge, who to not. Who to hold hands over a meal and who not. And perpetually the thought ringing in our ears, good we came to know them, imagine what would have transpired if they had not been around. It is a harsh reality, but a reality all the same. Some where sometime it does cross our mind. It should not, but it does.

That is the positive behind such operation. There is the other too. Know someone, connect with him on an issue, seek his now understood reason for the relationship, and he says he cannot ! Genuinely can not. Does the relationship sour ? Man … I asked you a favor as a friend, you are my friend are you not, and you move away ? Never expected this of you, how could you ? And now when ever you meet or invite or consult, would it not have the strains of that flavor where there was the absence of the expected help. Just wondering and conjecturing !!

Of course this does not take anything away from those rare and genuine relationships that have through generations gone beyond expectation and hope and duty. They exist and prosper despite all else. They exist despite the oft repeated thought in our minds - ‘let me do this for him, after all I do owe him one, do I not’ . When do we forget that thought, ‘after all’…

A simple situation but one that lingers in my mind often …

So what does one do ? If you were to ask me, I would do, and do it without knowledge of the other. Or never attempt to display my presence, or talk on the subject. Favor done, forget it. My Father was surprised once when a friend of his returned his borrowed money to him after 25 years ! He never expected it but it came back. So he gave me wisdom again -

Never lend, and if you do, never expect it to be back !!

I hope the almighty shall never put me in a situation where I shall need to ask, or beg. Neither would I want to be in a situation where I am expected to give. But if there were to be a consensus on my attitude I would myself vote for giving rather than asking. And after giving I would honestly forget !!

Somewhere there is a beauty in the soul when this is done. Better a better soul than a calculating mind .. with so much beauty around do we really need to …

May the serenity and peace of the above be with you ever .. nature builds it we often destroy it .. maybe we should change the cycle ..

My love

Amitabh Bachchan

There is no bigger joy than sitting up in the late evening and sharing up the day with the extended family

‘Ekant’       May 21,  2011         Sat 11: 57 Pm

“The morning slides up upon the pane,

Fresh air through an open vane

The chill across the body warm,

No harm.

The sea it splashes hard and strong,

Beyond a point, there is no wrong

We stand and stare and stare and stare,

Nature so beauteous, can never be fair.

Take up the walk, take up the shore

Take up upon never ending and more.

A way side Inn, in sun and glare

Little seats about the pavement bare.

Much later then another walk

Vast bodies of rock, silent, no talk.

There is a silence about and above

This is not game for treasure trove. “

There is no bigger joy than sitting up in the late evening and sharing up the day with the extended family. The fear of not being able to do so was looming large through out the previous night and this morning. But the heavens helped, the skies broke away the dark and disillusioning clouds and connection exercised its vote in our favor !

A relief then … and greater than most people are able to understand. The thrill and excitement that has prevailed on the release of the ‘Bbuddah - hoga tera baap’ promo stood way behind in my thoughts when the net refused to answer to the various combinations that I continued to press to initiate just any indication of life on these fibre glass wires and cables ..

But the mood changed dramatically when quite by chance everything came to life and a whoop filled the air. We were back and how ! And no, that was not meant to steal from the promo of the film on release !!

How ever did we manage when we were unconnected, distant and out of sight and sound. How ??!

It is difficult to imagine. The personal mobile, that birthday warning, the reminders for work to be done, reactions instantly of activity undertaken and a host of other important notes, all at the palm of your hand and a reliance on them for life. Our new colorful and active brain ! Decorated by digits and screens and all kinds of apparatus needed to allow it to function at its utmost.

I had been concerned about Rajnikant and his illness. I had spoken to him a few days before coming away. He sounded frail and disturbed. His ever efficient wife, Latha ji was taking good care. I merely told him not to ignore whatever the doctors were saying and to listen to them. But media and its reporting machine through a vast blast of breakings, was making me anxious. So I connected again and was pleased to find that he was improving. The fans and well wishers , the incessant media around his house was beginning to give him no space to have a restful day in the house, hence the shift to hospital. I believe he is back home and nothing could give me greater pleasure.

But back to the promo and ‘Bbuddah’ .. when some stalwarts write in to say and give final analysis, its time to wonder what it is that we have done. A rethink follows and a desire to hope that all goes well at the time of release.

Your prayers are solicited fervently ..

Amitabh Bachchan