I am alarmed that you are alarmed at my condition BigB

Prateeksha, Mumbai   April  24/25,  2010   Sat/ Sun  2 : 21 AM

I am alarmed that you are alarmed at my condition, medically. It has been something that has remained with me for years and years and years. From being horned by a bull in the head when I was perhaps 2 years old to my more recent escapades, it is a saga that never seems to end, for, what is more in store for me I cannot comprehend.

My intention to describe my day within the 'tunnel' was not to seek attention, but to narrate the experience of a day in my life. Yesterday's episode is a mere 5 % of what ails me. And now with the kind of extreme reactions expressed by FmXt, I am hesitant to indulge any further on the balance 95 % !! Some of them are at an extreme stage of repair and I may have to go under the knife sooner than later. I wonder then if I should spell it out all at once on a pleasant day and get it over with, or to withhold it and piece meal it over a period of time, or perhaps not divulge anything further, ever.

It is however a part of me, my medical issues, and as one that has disclosed parts of my beings to parts of my other beings, I do not feel the need to keep it covered and protected. So I shall await any further direction that may come from the extended family on any deliberations on this.

The written word has always from time immemorial, had great relevance in the life of humans. Words that I may use to describe or narrate could express all, or nothing at all. The usage of my own particular vocabulary, could be conducive to what I may wish to express. Conversely, it could do just the opposite. That is the power of 'word'.

Have we ever wondered why Buddha, Mahavir, Nanak, Kabir, Rahim, Confucius, Gandhi or Vivekananda - great men and saints over time - have influenced the way we conduct ourselves and our lives. They were men of simple bearings. They were men not of Kingdom and wealth, nor were they ones that presented fear and terror. What was it about them that even with the passage of great time, we still submitted ourselves and our personalities to their governance and thought ?

Behind each of these ordinary humans, was the strength of extraordinary 'word'. They had the support of an army of 'words'. 'Words' formed their soldiers, which through their invaluable presence won over the world.

If one were to look at it, it presented itself as just a small insignificant 'word', but it had the power and strength to change life, to change society, to change a nation, to change an entire world. If a 'word' had the power to bring in peace it had equally, the power to bring in revolution. The great poet Kabir said -

शब्द शब्द सब कोई करें , शब्द के हाथ न पांव

एक शब्द औषधि करे , एक शब्द करे घाव I

" Shabd shabd sab koi karen, shabd ke haath na paon

Ek shabd aushadhi kare, ek shabd kare ghao ."

Roughly translated -

" Words words do all do, words have no hands and feet

One word is the balm that heals, the other that inflicts a wound. "

A few simple words from these saints and men of wisdom, have been a source of inspiration through generations, through centuries. But ponder a while. The world is full of an incredible store of books and encyclopedia on culture and literature, then why can we not recognize the immeasurable strength of these volumes of learned material and imbibe them for a better living. Because it is through the knowledge of words that we become of knowledge and learning.

A monarch or King shall be respected within his own Kingdom. But the learned shall be respected everywhere.

People shall remember me for another year or so, but they shall remember my Father for a thousand !!

And now 'Ravana'. The music launch took place in a simple yet well designed ceremony at the Yash Raj Studios. Abhishek and Aishwarya returned last night early this morning, morning of the 24th, and after releasing the music and performing for it on stage as part of the event have left for Greece, for the shoot of Farhan and Ritesh produced AbhinavDeo directed film and from there after completing that schedule to Istanbul for Rohan Sippy's film.

Some of the FmXt have already put up sites for the music on YouTube, but by tomorrow I shall be able to put up the visual promos of the film. There has been a fantastic reaction by the media to the film. Many have written in to me through sms and one particular veteran has said 'it shall be the film of the year'. We cross our fingers and toes and touch our heads and wood ! AR Rahman is at his very best whenever he has worked with Mani Ratnam and this one is no different. His music and sound and arrangement is a master class. Three on this CD have attracted me immensely and I am certain that in time, more value shall emanate from the tracks. It has always been the norm for every composition by Rahman - the music just grows on you.

Sachin Tendulkar turned 37 on the 24th and when I wished him in the morning, I also hoped that his injury to his hand had sufficiently repaired for him to play and lead Mumbai Indians for the finals tomorrow. He acknowledged the greetings and is desperate and determined to play the finals tomorrow despite the injury. He split his finger web as many may have seen in the match for the semis and has had to have 5 stiches on it. I hope he heals rapidly. It would be a shame to not have him play after bringing his team up to this level of the tournament.

A question for those who love cats - the big ones. The ones that we are all keen to save, as on the face page. How do you differentiate one tiger from the other ??

The design around the eyes is different on each one of them and that is how trainers and keepers are able to decipher which one is what !! Interesting eh ! I did not know either, until I was educated by a forest marshal at the Ranthambore Reserve, many years ago on a visit there. I have some marvelous pictures of a live tiger kill on still camera, right from the time he stalked a fairly large species of deer watering itself in a lake, to chasing it out of it, killing it and dragging it to a safe place for his lunch. He had chased his prey merely 5′ away from the open jeep that we were following him in. Amazing speed of action and incredible strength of how he flipped this 800 lbs of stag on its side to carry it to a secure hideout.

I will need to scan these pictures, because they were taken at a time when digital cameras were not invented. The quality may suffer, but I think you shall get a good idea of the operation.

Time to scream now !! Its 4:19 AM !! I interuppted my blog writing to see off Abhishek and Aishwarya .. and now to bed !!

Clutching my little softness of head rest close … and clutching every bit of love for you with it …

Amitabh Bachchan