Bhopal, Madhya Pradesh Feb 2 , 2011 Wed 10 : 02 PM
I have returned from work some hours back. I have been through my scenes for tomorrow a million times, and still fail to remember all the lines correctly. I have completed all the necessary chores for the day. I have sat myself down for my moment. I have an emotion building up. I have wet eyes. I have no reason why they should be there, but they are.
I have met this evening two very dedicated members of the EF - Lakshmi Jag and Vijji. I have spent some quality time with them. I have used the word ‘quality’ because most parents these days refer to their meetings with their siblings as ’spending quality time’ !
I have realized through this meeting with the two members of the EF, what a wonderful family of friends we have built up. I have realized that I did not have any intention of doing so when I started the blog. And I have finally realized how an inconsequential offering of wanting you all to be my extended family, has resulted in such great devotion and sincerity, that it has moved me to tears.
Expectation has never been a quality that I have ever endorsed. So when its results present itself in great volume, in reciprocation, in love and understanding, in combining, in coming together, holding hands and hearts and feelings, in building and structuring associations - it moves me to an uncontrollable emotion.
Listening to the tales of compassion. Listening to the coming together in hours of strife and struggle among us. Being exposed to the glorious facts of what this platform has meant to all those that stand steadfast on it. Being exposed to the world that exists within this world of ours, is a devastatingly overwhelming feeling.
I had always believed that I stood alone, within myself, without any assistance or crutch. I am convinced now that I am not alone and I know never will be, thanks to the loving hands that come up, unasked, to hold and support me up. To allow me to stand up to my height. To permit me to walk that stride with dignified firmness. To reach out and know that it shall be taken in the spirit of the righteousness with which it was presented. To speak, to voice my opinion, to challenge, to debate, to discuss. And in all this, to be able to spread the affection and love with utmost genuineness, and know, that it shall be justly received.
I have expressed my attraction and my fondness towards my family, this extended family, on many an occasion. I have, I know, received in return, a reciprocation beyond measure. I have valued it as truthfully as I know I breathe. But I do not know why, the feeling today has been beyond all. And the more I stay with this the greater the emotion builds.
I have wiped away the liquids from the ocular. I have brought upon myself the smile of contentment through my rich growth of fresh grey on my chin. And I have realized the true meaning of the comment made by some of the EF
“Look what a wonderful family you have built Mr Bachchan !”
I have built nothing. You have structured yourself around me in such fashion that when others look at it from a distance it seems the buildings all belong to me !
Thank you for this additional space. These large comfortable living rooms and spacious bedrooms and expansive lawns and hills and valleys that surround me with the freshness of the green after a generous monsoon.
There will be times when I shall be unable to live up to this generosity. There will be times when I shall falter, make errors and atrocious mistakes, fail in my duties or belie expectations. But never, never ever, will there be any reason for this, with deliberate intent.
I turn in for the day, content with the thought that tomorrow shall be another day of association with my extended family, my EF, my FmXt …
Love affection and all that is dear for me .. for you !!!