Mai deepak hoon mera jalna hi toh mera Muskaana hai BigB

Jalsa , Mumbai June 24/25,  2011   Fri/Sat  1:38 AM

It is necessary for all to know that there remains within me a strong desire to connect, to touch to feel the beating hearts of those that come to me on this platform. For long have I been told that the hours of posting, judged from the times depicted above, are an indicator of my exertion, of my lack of getting enough rest. The concern is indeed genuine and most honorable. But so is my concern - the concern of putting aside all else to open the page, note the number on the day, fill in the time and date, and then contemplate what needs to be spoken.

I live again today with my Father … and as I recall some of his works on twitter, I am amazed at some of the responses. Some quite naturally are unable to understand the words, which is acceptable. Others ask for meanings, and some understand the meaning and are equally poetic in their response.

I am but expressing only the opening lines of some of his works. But they are sufficient to invoke the passion of their existence -

‘mai deepak hoon mera jalna hi toh mera muskaana hai’

I am the ‘deepak’, that lamp that wick immersed in oil that burns .. my burning is my smiling ..

I burn with the desire of my love and affection of my EF. They are my little world that feeds and expresses and holds me, embraces me with the warmth and care as that of a mother with her new born. They that question me ask me often. Why do you do this. And how can you continue to do this every day without a break. When you had to you broke the news of Aishwarya on the Twitter and the Blog. Why would you want a private moment in your life to be put on a public platform, and that too by your own accord.

And I tell them … my Blog and my Twitter are my extended family. I consider it my duty to first inform my family ! You have a problem with that ?? ….. Silence and embarrassed faces !

When I get my son married in a private manner, a marriage in the family, often considered a private moment .. you throw stones in my house at that auspicious hour to show your resentment on why we have not made ourselves public ! And today you question my effort to get public ??? !!! This is my family. We exist every day to be with each other in heart and soul. But you ? You exist because of the commerce that it brings. You need to decide what and where you are and what you do. I know what and where I am and doing what !!!

I quote another line that comes to mind from one of my Father’s works -

” raat aadhi, kheech kar meri hatheli, ek ungalee se likha tha pyaar tumne ..”

In the darkness of midnight, you did stretch your hand and pull the palm of mine towards you .. and with one finger did write ‘love’ on it ..

I stretch mine towards yours and pulling it towards mine do write with several fingers on the board .. ‘love’ .. it is past the midnight hour .. it is the early morning … but I write …

Amitabh Bachchan

It is Jaya’s father’s death anniversary tomorrow - Taroon Kumar Bhaduri - we miss him !