Jalsa , Mumbai Aug 7 , 2011 Sun 11 : 30 PM
I am indisposed ! Was, as I got up to get to the airport in Delhi and continued to be uncomfortable throughout the 2 hr flight to Mumbai. Its my legacy of the 1982 episode on the sets of ‘Coolie’. Its laid me up with extreme weakness and almost no energy - so much for all those queries from media and friends as to where the energy is coming from ..!! My doctor has seen me and a course of medication has been initiated. The obvious proclamation of ‘take it easy and rest’ comes in from all fronts. But when I work I cure. When I rest I may aggravate my condition !! Ha !! The condition is very close to the last hospitalization some years ago. Not as aggravated perhaps, but close symptoms. There is a routine that has been stipulated an I shall try to conform to it, but I do have a shoot tomorrow and a function to attend ..
The family is not in town and they are anxious and want to return. I have refused them, because I have the care and concern of my extended family ..
In such a condition, one desists from all normal acts. Its irritating me that I cannot give more of my designated time to all of you .. and its irritating me that I have slowed down and asked to be horizontal. I want and desire my spring back, that expectation and anticipation of what the next moment holds for me. I am concerned about my schedule and the work that I have been contracted for … and no amount of distractions like reading or watching Tv is doing the trick .. Damn I am angry !!
Good night !!