Hospital 7 Hills , Mumbai Feb 14 , 2012 Tue 10 : 25 PM
A lethargic mind … a lethargic body … a lethargic post !!
I could have ended here and surprised all, yet know that all would accept it under the conditions I write, and know that conditions are not all rosy .. No point in being abstractly brave in voice and demeanor, when the insides will something else. No point whatsoever in trying to prove something, without proof. No point in showing that which you know is so closely related to showing off !
The one that suffers knows best. The one that endures senses the most. And the one that fronts promise dishonestly shall forever live in internal misery. I would dare to bear that which displays unhealthy and incorrect truth, than subject my within in believing it. But expressing it to the other shall be of limited value in my estimation. I would rather I remember it, absorb it, not allow it to be disclosed, than to become an exhibit for the other in narrating their weakness ..
When we share, do we really believe that we have shared. Or do we just perform the act of it because it is meant to thin down the pain in some instances and incite joyful happiness in another. Does the other ever be in position to intensely understand the grief in one and the joy in the other. When we share our pain with the other do they not sympathise as friend on our condition, or do they sympathise because they are freed from similar. When we share our joy do they embrace our happiness with the same earnestness as us or do they do so with a tinge of envy, in not possessing what we accomplished. Harsh thoughts yes … but worth a thought !!
If there is one example that contradicts all the above, it is this glorious platform of our Ef. I have witnessed many aspects of it and I shall not entirely say that it has completely rid itself of its pitfalls, but the genuineness of those that have expressed, covers such a vast expanse that those that have negated or faltered on occasion, have been buried by the weight of the compassion and love shown. This is unique, unblemished and if I may say without compare. In time it shall become case study, not because I instigated it, but because you wished it so and complied diligently with it …
I think I rant .. I should exercise restraint ..
Perhaps it is my condition, or perhaps just something that remained within and never had opportunity ..
Whatever the reason, the cause, or repercussion .. it must rest on my head and mine alone ..