I have accomplished a good deed today ! I know not why or for whom, but it has been done

Jalsa  , Mumbai                   Nov  8/9 ,  2011               Tue/wed  12 : 44 AM

 I have accomplished a good deed today ! I know not why or for whom, but it has been done !

I am through many reminders from dear ones, made to feel that I keep too silent, too unresponsive and nonreactive. This they all feel is the common grounds for exploitation and it makes them unhappy to see such practices being followed against me.

There are times among the Ef in the blog that I am too detached with issues and the reactions of people and therefore a selfish trend pervades. The nature of the blog is such that it does convey a feeling, nay, an expression, of all being in the family for the family and by the family. This is sounding good and expressive and with some degree of positivity. But .. when I am made to participate in all acts that occur, I shall be doing only this and no more. Yes .. I do understand the emotion behind this and completely empathize with it, but for some to believe that I deliberately ignore or are not concerned with issues that come up time and again, is grave and wrong.

I am most certainly aware of what transpires within. If I do miss out on something, there are very generous and committed followers that shall guide warn and show me the right path. This I welcome and abide by. But my time constraints do not permit me to address all issues personally. My reason is that in a large family that lives together, such issues do come up, but never overpower the normal functioning of the home. I would rather then that the Ef not attempt to read between lines and analize and react as to what exactly was Mr B trying to say.

Frankly, I say nothing. Maybe I should. Maybe that is what is missing from our home. But then I say to myself, if I am to interfere in all matters then there shall never be a moment free for other matters. Also, my own nature does not permit me to question, it has permission only for their attraction and to hold each other in harmony and love. Now .. if this comes and happens naturally, it shall be a blessing for me. When it does not, I tend to detach myself from it as though nothing has transpired. This I must, else my desire to bring balance shall not prevail. I am by birth a true Libran, one that gets signified in the western astrological calendars as one possessing balance. The scales are the sign that signifies our nature.

My balance does not always succeed. It at times never does, but never has it been devoid of effort. I would rather give several points to effort than any other.

To believe that I would or could do something that would take sides is unacceptable to me. For me all are equal and content and I would wish that they all remain so.

My work table gets crowded with pending work. Despite its spacious bearings I can barely fit in my laptop to use it for the very simple act of ‘ writing a blog ‘. This is a tragedy. My entire planning for the day hovers around the time I shall need to connect through this medium. And when it does come, the time I mean, I hesitate to take up because one does not know where to start.

I would imagine working away at something continuously without aim of reaching an ultimate destination, would hamper the degree of work to be undertaken. I may not build peaks ; in fact I never do, but of this I can safely say, that the need to reach at a given destination shall never be fraught with unexpected attitude, and disrespect.

Personalized attention is a major administrative and managerial exercise. Many have mastered the act and I envy them because I have not. And this is a learning that needs to be introduced into many a system. Mine to start with …

Its past the hour of losing golden shoes .. I must to rest, to arise and to connect for another DAY ..

Love to you as before and more ..

Amitabh Bachchan