Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Prateeksha, Mumbai September 22, 2009 Tue 11:16 PM
There are many moments in our lives which are governed by realization. Soon after we are born we realize who our parents are. We call them Mother and Father. They are the ones we see the most often and the ones that respond to us when we call them. They shelter us, feed us, educate us, clothe us, look after us. A little later we realize who we are - a boy or a girl. We realize that being a boy is different form being a girl. Our anatomy is different, we look and behave differently. Then as we grow, we realize our status and our faith. We are poor or middle class or rich. We follow a religion and we realize we are different from some of the groups that we move in. We realize our strengths, both physical and mental. Moving on we realize friends and attachments, associations and acquaintances. We realize our closeness to some and our distance from others. Around the same time we realize our physicality - our looks, our bodies, our negatives and positives. And as we step into the world as independent souls we realize what the world is all about and indeed what life is.
Most of this is a natural process. A process that nature leads us into. But there is one that we fail to realize. We fail often to realize our limits. Having started, when to stop. When to stop consumption, excesses, indulgence. I believe that those that can accomplish this very innocuous yet most treasured value of mankind, can and should be able to conduct their lives without the pain that generally accompanies all those that do not.
I feel it is time for me to realize my limits. That is it. No further explanation, no reasons. I must know on my own, I would not need the impressions of others ; their suggestions and their advice. I am a grown man. I have lived and worked for a substantial number of years. The dawn of my realization has appeared and I must reconcile and accept it as must any other of my age. To further ignore it in the heat of ambition. To bolster it with the arrogance of a pride that may only exist within yourself, and not outside.
I believe we all know when it is time. I think we all ignore its implication. I believe our defiance towards compelling circumstances that bring it on is ill founded. I believe that there is a need to be honest with oneself; no other honesty could possibly replace it. I believe that their is no better person than ourselves to realize that we are indeed being honest with ourselves. And I believe that those that follow this temperament remain better humans. There is nothing at all in the world that can beat your own assessment. The 'me' and the 'I' then is the most superior element, that mankind possesses. A member of our FmXt expressed strong views on the 'I' and 'me' factor on possessions. He has resented the form of address, for, he stated, the 'my' in our lives should really be referred to as 'ours'. We are all one. The 'my' singular proclaims a superiority. An expression of individual selfishness. And I would tend to agree with that. 'My' isolates, 'ours' envelopes. I would rather be enveloped than be isolated.
The photo shoot for COLORS and BIGGBOSS, went off smoothly without incident, not however the approval for the song that we put our mite into, till the late hours of the night. It is fine on its own, but does not reflect the visuals assiduously designed by the Director in Mehul. And so we shall trundle down to the studio V&S late in the morrow and redo what we had done earlier. Jaya and Shweta would be delighted with this move ; they had expressed similar sentiment when they first heard the song over lunch. But the music apart, what was fascinating today was an education in camera and computer work by Colsten Julien, the professional who was handling the still photography this afternoon.
Photo shoots in the good 'ol days were firstly never thought of importantly. While on set, working stills were the call of the hour and whatever was achieved then within the confines of the studio, was sufficient. Now, we have a very complicated and documented procedure before venturing out into this terrain. Locations, lighting, management and the brief for the creatives itself is an episode, all coordinated and worked out with every conceivable position or circumstance. Still camera man, just walks up to the lens and presses the button. All else is taken care of by the out sourcing group. This management group organizes the location, sets up the lighting, fixes the immediate digital transfer on the computer for others to see, caters to refreshments, and so much more … a complete pleasure and a delight. Reference books specially prepared to give an indication of what the team was looking for in expression and mood and dress. A special meeting was held to put all this in order. And then it works like magic. Everyone knows what is required, goes about diligently doing their job and by the time you realize it, job done !!
The conveniences that man is building for himself shall one day be the very reason that shall bring him down. But by then it shall be too late.
Another day, another connect, another delight ~
Prateeksha, Mumbai September 21, 2009 Mon/Tue 12:58 AM
Habit can be a destroyer at times. I typed in 'Singapore' as my destination above before realizing it was no longer my location. After a certain age, frequent changes disturb our equilibrium. We like to find our material in exactly the spot where we had last remembered leaving it. Make a few minor position changes and it can throw us off completely. You may have used a different pocket to house your mobile phone in the clothes you wear, yet because it is not in the regular designated location, you would be troubled for hours as to where you could have left the machine behind !!
Happens all the time. You may have placed your reading glasses on your head through the hair, and be desperately looking for them all over until someone came and made you aware of its position. Even more alarming is when you make a call to a friend or an office staff and do not remember why you made the call in the first place. Its become a habit now to write down the reason for making the call as you dial the number, just in case you forgot. Several 'post its' now occupy vulnerable spots all over the house !!
Promotional activities for BiggBoss took up most of the day. Discussions and presentations and schedule programs ; the works. Indeed I have just got back from the studios of dear friends Vishal & Shekhar after putting together a ditty for promotion.
It is always such a joy to be in the company and surroundings of music and music makers. V&S and I have spent some crazy moments together, jamming songs and writing pieces for various occasions. They keep insisting that we should cut an album together and hopefully when I have overcome my self consciousness someday we shall. For the moment however it is COLORS and the show I am assigned for. If it gets the approval of their managers, maybe I could put it up for the EF to listen.
Getting back into some sort of a routine has been taxing. From being idle for such a long period of time to being suddenly burdened with all the problems of the world can be unnerving. But human capacity has immense potential and one never knows of it until it is taken to its extreme.
The Sunday crowds outside the gates is an example. They have been regularly coming on Sunday's with the hope of finding me step out of the door, but have had to go back. Their devotion however unbroken and still very sincere.
Last evening they were able to get me across to them and their excitement was so palpable. Took the little ones out too and they felt awkward in the process of Sunday. Not so long ago however, they were not such. I remember Navya being very young and when I had taken her for a drive, all the crowds that gathered around the car would get a regal wave from her. Later she would ask and want to know why so many people were collecting around to greet 'her' !! Gullibility of kids is so enchanting.
I am forced to keep this short again. The kids draw my attention and disrespecting them would have very different connotations. There is neglect also for 483484485 and I shall catch up soon on them. Till then …
A pleasant night to all
More soon and perhaps sooner than what most think ….
Prateeksha Mumbai, Prateeksha , MumbaiPrateeksha
September 20, 2009
Sun 9:18 PM
Yes home at last ! And nothing can better describe the feeling of being in the surroundings than the effect of possession. This is the place that I possess, I own, that is mine. It may not be five star or have the comforts of professional living, but it is my home and I love it. And I love it that my daughter comes back with the children… extreme bliss !!
Anticipation always takes longer than you would wish it to. And even though the flight from Singapore was a respectable 4 and a half hours, because you wish to get in like within minutes, it takes forever. The flight path tracker just refuses to move and nothing can take up your attention to make time move swiftly - not the movie that you watch half heartedly, nor the repeated efforts by the stewards to draw attention to the menu, or that desperate attempt to steal a few winks.
The kids trouped in a few hours after I landed and their excitement and chatter right from the airport, where I had gone to pick them up, to the house, is one non stop breathless information of all that has transpired since they were last here.
And then …
The power ranger and the stationery take over and its a sight to believe. The screams and squeals and yelps of joy. The hugs and the kisses of affection and the pre prepared thank you cards… such fun …
And Shanouk … he still does not know what has hit him .. so confused with this sudden presence of everyone in his life after such a long gap … hasn't stopped charging around banging against the furniture and the settings, furiously moving from one place to the other in his own little excitement ..
Home … such a wonderful place to be back in. There is a smile on the staff, and the kitchen works animatedly to cook all the favorites. And Sushila, the maid looks on with wondered expressions. She had come into the house the day Shweta was born, a short plump little two plaits 18 year old , now married and herself with kids and still fussing over the first born of the house. She is the oldest employee with us. Over 35 years of service. Indeed 90% of the staff has been with us for over 25 years. There is something about staff that has been with you for so long. They become one with the family and from being just an employee when they come in, over the years, assume the position of decision makers. And no one dare say a word against them. They tell you what is good and correct, what has been overlooked and neglected, what has skipped attention and where what has been kept. What would we do without them !!
My friend left today as well and is back in Delhi almost at the same time. It has been a miracle that he survived and I would like to thank all those that sent in their wishes for his recovery.
I rest today and wait to give more time to Agastya and Navya. Oh..! And I forgot .. the delay in departure from Delhi of the children was because Agastya had to go for his football trials… and he got selected for his school team… yipeeeeee !!
More football followed …. Man U, Agastya's team beat Man City in a thriller 4-3 and Abhishek and I directed Chelsea into a 3-0 victory over Tottenham Hot Spurs.
My DAY ends here today. The temptation to be with 'them' is overpowering. My distraction is justified and I know that FmXt would not have wished for any other ..
Till the morning then, with love ..