I struggled with angels and devils, that’s true

 Jalsa , Mumbai          Dec  6 ,  2011                  Tue  11 : 34 PM

I struggled with angels and devils, that’s true,

was nurtured by fire and guided by light,

and even impossible things I could do,

but what is possible I can’t get right.

~ mascha kaleko

  

We may be adept at doing the impossible, but when there is opportunity to do the possible, we never can get it right. An arguable judgement of fact or is it just philosophical rambling. I dare not express my obvious thought. It could fall in with the possible, which would be subjected to the fears and dangers of not getting it right. Do we really fear the dangers of not getting it right. Do we really. How many of us are even drawn towards the right. Not the political right. The right way the right right ! You know, when we attempt to exercise something with the impression of knowing that this shall be the right thing. Or after having achieved what has been set out to be right. It is possible to be in such condition, because we did set out initially to do what was promised as a possibility.

One may wonder if what they profess as a possibility could end up being the right thing. But professing and performing are miles in between. I do think that opportunity comes alone and without any baggage or history. And only when there is opportunity can we see the possibility of perhaps a right. The effort begins and begins well and well intentioned in its approach, but what does go wrong for it to not be right is what I search, and would imagine, so would others.

Pretense, perhaps could be one of the reasons for not getting it right. I would imagine it to be the worst of situations to be in. One of the most taxing and excruciating businesses of the world could be, to be what one is not. Why does one be what one is not ? Lack of being what they see in others. What do they really see in others which they feel deprived of ? Money, wealth, character, joy, happiness, absence of worry … what ?

How do we really know ? We do not ! And till we do not we shall tend to struggle with the obsession that something is not right. Acceptance, here in life, is an accomplished art form. To accept defeat. To accept that the other is better. To accept that even though that is so, there shall always be something that you may possess that shall never be available to the other. The other that you feel has it all.

Those that profess that they have it all, are the only ones that possess nothing, or almost nothing. Those that have it generally never accept that they have all, either because they are generally unaware, or modesty keeps them tied to a string that if stretched for too long could break in on an immodest state. Those that announce their presence in the loudest terms, diminish the other to irreparable fault, make excessive attempts to continuously teach the other of their mistake or incapability, are the ones that hide, through this ingenious methodology, their own misgivings and errors. The louder their claims of their perfection the baser their reality. A pitiable state to be, to live, indeed to even survive, because it is at the end of it just that – a need to profess that they are the better the right.

I wrote more and in greater depth, but as always the facility broke down just when it was time to upload. I shall not attempt to recollect and relive those moments. It would be a travesty to want to reflect back and flex the memory to an extent which would … what … bring back that which has already been thought of. A waste I would say. I would rather that I relived another fresh moment with possibilities of greater thought. That would be novel and true in representation. What has gone has gone. To a stable that announces stale. We have much to bring new and exciting thought, so bring it and be with it, before it is lost to the space of the waves in the air.

I wish you well and the comfort of my devotion to our home, this platform of family … ever !

Good wishes for the night ! May there be pleasant dreams of accomplishment and joy, devoid of sorrow and misgivings. May there be laughter and happiness in great bounty and may it build itself around you in solemn protection and guise ..

Love you ..

Amitabh Bachchan